Before I got married, many people forewarned me about the extra responsibilities, expectations, and pressures that come with marrying a youth pastor, which I so appreciated. It is so helpful knowing the potential obstacles, issues and fears we, as a married couple in ministry, might face, but at times I felt discouraged, “What am I getting myself into?”
Well, after almost four years of marriage, I can tell you that I got myself into the most glorious, hilarious, humbling, refining, fun and profound experience of my life. Yes, there are some tough things, but there are AMAZING and unexpected perks that come with this gig of marrying a youth pastor:
1. Your Spotify Worship Playlist is Fire
You get all the latest music to make those traffic jam sessions your very own Toyota of Tunes, Honda of Hallelujahs, Winnebago of Worship. For real though, this is such a perk. I have my very own worship DJ, who also happens to be my husband! #winning
2. You Stay Forever Young
So, seven years ago we went on a date and it was so LIT. See, I was looking to get CHOS and my outfit was FIRE and this guy totally asked me out and he became my BAE.
For those utterly confused or worried I just said something heinous or heretical, here are the definitions for these cryptic words:
CHOS--”to get chosen;” Just lose the “EN,” because life’s too short to pronounce an extra syllable
FIRE--see LIT; sticking with the match theme
BAE--acronymn that stands for”before anyone else;” often times associated with a boyfriend
Working in youth ministry, it is crazy to hear some of the words that become part of youth culture, but then again I came from the generation that invented BRB and LOL, so I can’t really talk.
3. Your Ego Goes Out the Window
I really do enjoy helping out in the ministry. I’ll host gatherings at our house, bake cookies, help welcome people as they walk into church, because I want students to feel comfortable and at home. I’m generally more introverted, but at events my extrovert comes out for the sake of the students.
While this appears to just be me belting Katy Perry’s Firework on a table...by myself...alone (note: the kid’s face to the left), I can promise you an EPIC dance party occurred moments after this photo was taken…. I promise.
Doing youth ministry and serving others is a sure fire way to get out of my brooding mind, to stop obsessing over myself, my looks, my needs, my wants. Because in the end, it's not about me. It’s about the chance for these students to come to church on a Friday night and have fun. Not bad fun, but silly-dance-on-the-tables-and-sing-Justin-Bieber-songs-in-the-middle-of-a-cafeteria-fun. It's the chance for a student to take one step closer in finding a relationship with Jesus.
4. You Get Incredible Mentors
Through our engagement, wedding, and newlywed phases, so many married couples from our church flooded us with encouragement and support and prayer. Several of them, formed a bible study and invited us to be a part of their weekly fellowship. From empty nesters to brand new parents to us newlyweds, our group runs the gamut of life experience and it is hands-down the best thing for our marriage!
Sitting in a cozy living room discussing how we divide up chores in our household and laughing about the complete absurdity, yet reality of the fights that incur from dish and trash duty, there
is no better way for us to spend two hours a week investing in our marriage. At a church, there are a wealth of marriages that run so deep with wisdom. Take advantage, learn from their stories, grow in community. So worth it!
5. You Witness Miracles
Brian’s job (well, any Christian's job) is to make disciples (Matthew 28:19). We believe that every student (every person) no matter their reputation, their background, their issues has the opportunity to call on the name of the Lord and be saved (Romans 10:13). We have seen it. The high school drug dealer turn from his old life to follow Jesus into a new one; the girl, who slept around, stand to her feet and declare Christ as her Savior; the prideful pharisee fall to their knees and in humility ask for His grace. Story, after story, student, after student, person, after person, finding the joy that comes through a relationship with Jesus. It never gets old.
Yes, it is hard! Yes, the hours are crazy! Yes, I put way too much pressure on myself to be the perfect pastor’s wife! Yes, every warning was true and then some!
I wouldn’t want it any other way :)