It has been exactly one year since I started She Delights, and as I look back and read through my posts I just can’t stop praising God for all that he has done. Here is just a little backstory to how this whole thing got started:
She Delights began because I needed something to distract me from the emotional turmoil I was going through month after month trying to get pregnant. Christmas day 2016 I remember taking a pregnancy test, thinking that it would be a beautiful gift to find out I was pregnant that special morning, but alas negative.
I remember walking out to my husband sitting by our Christmas tree with tears of disappointment streaming down my face. He gave me my first gift, a letter that he had written with words of love that spoke straight to my soul and my heartbreak. He ended the letter with “this time next year at Christmas we will be celebrating with a baby under our tree.” His faith and confidence that God would grant us the desire of our hearts in the year 2017 was so beautiful that it inspired me to stop trying to control every aspect of our plan to have kids, and freed my mind and heart to focus on other things. Thus, She Delights was born.
Post after post I can only see God’s beautiful timing. Little did I know as I wrote the story of a fall that I was pregnant at the exact moment I fell. After two weeks of bed rest, I took a test at the end of January and my life-long dream of becoming a mom came true. I was pregnant. Two months later we found out the weekend of my sister’s wedding that we were going to have a baby girl. A month after that at a terrifying ultrasound appointment we heard news that our baby girl may have a problem with her heart. The rest of the pregnancy was a time of trusting and waiting. Waiting for further ultrasounds, waiting for fetal cardiologist consultations, and then finally waiting for her to be born before we could check her heart. Needless to say the third trimester of waiting for baby girl to make her appearance felt like forever...but then finally on October 4th, 2017 Grace Kelly Howard was born. And her heart--like the rest of her--was perfect.
Thank you to the so many of you who prayed for our daughter even before she was born. Your prayers encouraged our hearts and gave us peace that surpassed all understanding.
Ever since that beautiful night on October 4th when Grace was born, I have soaked up every single moment of motherhood. I delight over every poopy diaper, every spit-up-soaked shirt, every sleepless night. My husband and I clapped every time Grace pooped for the first three weeks (...ok months) of her life, every stained shirt of mine I had to throw in the laundry was just a wonderful reminder that I had a BABY. MY BABY SPIT UP ON ME! Every night that she woke up crying to be fed and then fell asleep in my arms was a sacred moment that I will cherish in my heart forever.
This is what I hoped and dreamt of when I longed to be a parent. God made it possible. God crafted this story so much more beautifully than the one I had imagined. And the story continues.
My husband’s letter ended up being right.
This Christmas morning I woke up and brought our sweet baby, Grace, out to her Daddy sitting under the tree with tears of joy streaming down my face.
All glory to God.