About a month after we started dating, we had “the talk.” Earlier that day we had just happened to run into an ex boyfriend of mine. Brian, being the least jealous human on the face of the planet, went right up to my ex introduced himself and had a completely polite conversation while I awkwardly smiled and raced us away as soon as possible.
I was overwhelmed with guilt and shame. Brian had been pursuing me all summer wanting to make our relationship official before my year studying abroad in Switzerland 🇨🇭. He kept choosing me even when I wasn’t sure if I was ready for another relationship much less a long distance one. He kept treating me better than I ever thought I deserved.
With all this genuine kindness, time and energy he was pouring into me and the hope of a relationship, I felt burdened to tell him about my past relationships and all the physical & emotional boundaries I crossed. He deserved better than the damaged goods, broken & battered heart I had to offer him. I was scared, yet through tears confessed everything I’d ever done—even some as recent as that very summer. I gave him an out and said “You deserve so much better than this. Yeah, I’m still a virgin, but you deserve someone who’s never crossed all these lines. I totally understand if you’re ready to move on”
He looked at me in a way I’d never seen before. He quietly, calmly and directly said, “Dani, I don’t see any of that when I look at you. I see you the way Christ sees you holy, chosen, dearly loved” My jaw dropped, my heart opened. The truth of grace shattered the lies of shame.
This talk changed everything for me. Not only my relationship with Brian (which it did), but more importantly my relationship with Jesus.
I don’t know what boundaries you may have crossed or the guilt some of you feel for past mistakes, but I pray that you can one day look at yourself the way Christ sees you. The One who was blameless took your blame. The One who was guiltless took your guilt. The One with no reason to be ashamed took your shame and in exchange gave you His rightness, holiness, and newness. The God of the Universe looks at you with compassion and love and sees you as pure and whole. There is no greater gift.
True love comes when we choose to see one another through the eyes of our Savior.